2013 Films: #35-25

Let us continue.

#35 Star Trek into Darkness* 

Full disclosure to the fact that this wasn't the best circumstances for me to be seeing the film. I had volunteered my services the night before to a YMCA lock in with a bunch of my seventh and eighth-grade boys. When the popcorn and pizza cleared, I had gotten roughly 2 hours of sleep on a makeshift bed of blankets. Later that night I was seeing Star Trek and a comfortable dark atmosphere. You do the math.

I owe it another spin soon. It will probably be better than I remember.

#34 Much Ado About Nothing

When Joss Whedon and his wife were getting ready to celebrate the 20th anniversary, his wife suggested rather than them jetting off to Zanzibar, he finally get his passion project done: a modern-day retelling of the Bards tale set in a nice Hollywood mansion. So he grabbed everybody that he could from his buffy/firefly/dollhouse camp and brought them to his house for a 12 day stint (glaringly omitted: Neil Patrick Harris and Alyson Hannigan). As Benedick and Beatrice are Alexis Denisov, best-known as Sandy the smarmy news anchor on How I Met your Mother, and Amy Acker, from Angel & Dollhouse. The film was shot in black and white and uses some great and witty modern gags to help it hit its mark. The cast is pretty good and they seem to have a lot of fun working together, and it is no big surprise that Nathan Filion steals basically every scene that he's in which is far too few. I found myself asking why is Nathan Filion not the lead? Denisov was good, for sure, but Filion would've taken this adaptation to a whole new level.

#33 Anchorman 2 

Very funny to see the news team back together, but they ran the same jokes out of the gate again, from Ron spitting out absurd tongue twisters as a pre-show ritual to the news channels melee with ridiculous weapons and anecdotes. Both Koechner and Rudd felt like one trick ponies, and with a few exceptions, Carell was a shadow of his former Brick. When they did use new material, like a perilous RV trip and an ode to a baby shark, I busted a gut.

#32 Drinking Buddies

Joe Swanberg is known in some circles is the king of mumblecore. What in the hell does that mean? It's a style of movie that is known for low talking dialogue, low-budget aesthetic, largely improvised scripts, and realistic characterization. This is Mr. Swanberg's first foray into the mainstream, the results are pretty satisfying. 

The buddies in question are Luke (Jake Johnson) and Kate (Olivia Wilde) who work together at a brewery in Chicago. There is an undeniable chemistry there, but both are in committed relationships. Johnson's better half is played by the always adorable Anna Kendrick, and Wilde's is played by Ron Livingston. Without giving too much away, something happens between Livingston and Kendrick that sets the wheels in motion. Before too long, wild finds yourself being dumped and this is single lifestyle. Luke becomes protective and jealous when the Kate begins spending time with other male members of the brewery. 

All four actors all do a really nice job of bringing realism to a tough romantic situation. I really felt like the story could happen and the flow was nice.

#31 Elysium

Just a few years ago, South African newcomer Neil Blomkamp created my favorite movie of the year in District 9. District nine had basically everything going for it. We had scathing sociopolitical commentary dressed up as a sci-fi flick dressed up as a documentary. With the cast lead by newcomer Sharlto Copely, it totally worked.

In Elysium, we have a pretty cool concept that is only partially executed. In the future age, the one percenters live on a space colony orbiting earth while basically everybody else suffers on an earth that is beginning to rot out like a peach. Matt Damon is a blue-collar factory worker who suffers an accident and becomes partially machine. 

 In order to fix himself, he makes a deal with a black-market cargo runner to crash the party on Rich folks Island. Mr. Blomkamp certainly's tries to re-create the tension and make a grand political statement (with some slick effects and shots along the way), and certainly considering the advent of Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic, it doesn't feel too far off. It just happens to lack the balls in the originality of his first effort.

#30 Despicable Me 2

Steve Carell returns Gru, the Affable villain hell bent on world domination. Things have changed with Gru since the last time we last checked up on him: he's a full fledged father now who has somewhat retired from the game. 

Enter Lucy, play by Kristin Wiig, an agent who needs Gru's particular skill set to help catch a new villain "El Macho". Hiding out undercover at the mall with this front as a bakery store, They gather Intel on El Macho and learned that he is creating something that can turn Gru's beloved minions against him. Despicable me Two is cute and nearly as fun as the first, but it lacks a little bit of the panache.

#29 The Spectacular Now

The biggest take away from this coming-of-age film is the performance Of Miles Teller as Sutter, The southern jock with the heart of gold. He'll be great for years to come. He falls hard for the awkward socially inapt beauty played by Shailene Woodley of the Descendants and now Divergent fame. It's a little bit hard to buy his attraction to her but ultimately it starts to work. It's a well-done movie that feels real, from the social considerations to the in-depth conversations to the father issues Sutter faces when dealing with his alcoholic deadbeat dad played by the ubiquitous Kyle Chandler.

#28 The Great Gatsby

Dir. Baz Luhrman tends to favor flash over substance in his films, and if there is one downfall of the great Gatsby it was that very notion. The classic F. Scott Fitzgerald novelization Looks incredible from the fireworks to the  chlorine in the pool. Leo DiCaprio and Carey Mulligan put a very believable forbidden love on screen. The problem is it sometimes slogs into sluggish, soap opera territory.

#27 This is the End

Did you know that the very last film rented in a Blockbuster video store was this is the end? Quite telling, don't you think?

Hysterical. As you probably already know the premises that a giant bash at actor James Franco's house (playing himself) is interrupted by the apocalypse. When the fiery pit clears and actors such as Michael Cera, David Katzenberg, Rihanna, Aziz and Paul Rudd have all perished, we are left with the fabulous six: Jay Baruchel, Seth Rogan, Craig Robinson, James Franco, Jonah Hill and Danny McBride, all of whom are playing themselves. Only they are bitchy, played–up, whiny versions of themselves. As they band together to beat the fire and brimstone and giant devils working outside, they squabble over rations, pick fights about disgusting habits, and polka  hell of a lot of fun of themselves. As a plot, it falters at times and takes things way too far, but it sure is a hell of a ride.

#26 American Hustle

Over-rated

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Over-rated

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I like David O Russell's movies. Three Kings, the Fighter, and Silver Linings Playbook are all outstanding. But this one? I guess I just didn't get the hype. Without the scene stealing Jennifer Lawrence and the consistently great Christian Bale, there isn't much there. It's slow, it's too long, it's less exciting than advertised, and I was sick of Amy Adams a half-hour in. Pluses include the costumes, the hair and a great Louis C.K. cameo. You won't get me to say Russell has made a bad movie, but I was thoroughly underwhelmed.

#25 Rush

Before the sexiness that is NASCAR, the world focused on Formula One racing is the premier version of watching cars go around in a circle. In the mid-70s the most important rivalry in the sport was Between British playboy James Hunt (Chris Hemsworth) and skilled driver Nikki Lauda (Daniel Bruhl). Narration from the film is told from the present by a somewhat reflective Lauda, delivered with tinges of both wistfulness and regret. The tiny cars they drive barely house their giant egos. the film takes us through the glamorous lifestyles of the mid 1970s, as greats like the Afro mentioned hunt and Mario Andretti were coming into the picture. A well-made film with loads of exciting sequences that would have been better in theaters.

'Til next time amigos-

Mulhern

2013 Films: #39-37

#39: Runner Runner

Justin Timberlake stars as Richie Furst, a young online poker stud who loses all of his earnings to the head of a giant online gambling regime. He has proof that the CEO cheated him out of the money, so he decides to go down to Costa Rica and confront this man himself. The man in question? Ivan Block, a shrewd businessmen played by Ben Affleck, in full-on-sleaze mode. Essentially, Block runs the whole resort town via shady payoffs and a whole lot of muscle. He is impressed with the moxie brought by young Richie Furst, and he hires him on to take care of the online part of his business. 

 Ivan razzle dazzles young Richie with flashy promises. You want surf and turf on a regular basis? Why not. Would you like to have intercourse with my beautiful ex-girlfriend? Go for it. Just as long as you're on my side, right? From that point forward, folks, every cliché applies: Richie realizes Ivan may not be the best person to cross, an FBI agent (Anthony Mackie) tries to flip Richie to take down Ivan Block with him,people are thrown in the back of vans, people are roughed up, guns are flashed. You know the drill. Both Affleck and Timberlake are serviceable in their roles, but this whole thing has been done before. Still, it was a pretty fun ride. 

 #38 The To-Do List Aubrey Plaza has already stepped into feature film world with her work in the strange, quirky indie sci-fi freak fest Safety Not Guaranteed. The whole crew from Parks and Recreation is pretty ubiquitous these days and it is always a little bit of a stretch trying to see them play against type. I think disenchanted April Ludgate is so infused and everyone psyche by this point at Aubrey will always, on some level, have to worry about being typecast. With The To Do List, at least she's attempting to break away a little bit. 


 It's the early 90s, and Aubrey Plaza is Brandy Clark, a valedictorian/class president of her high school, desperate to get laid before she heads off to college the following year. Her target is Rusty(Scott Porter), a chiseled stud who plays guitar and works at the local pool as a lifeguard. Drunk for the first time at a kegger, she passes out in a bunk bed; Rusty comes into the bedroom to bed someone else and begins to make out with her in the dark. After the embarrassment subsides, she decides that he wants her to be her first. Before she gets there, she has to do all of the other acts on a sexual "checklist" that she creates. Helping her along the way are her friends(Arrested Development's Ali Shakwat and Sarah Steele), her engaged and morally loose sister, played by Rachel Bilson, a couple of lifeguards (Donald Glover and Adam Pally), her summer boss (the always fantastic Bill Hader), and her 'platonic" pal Cameron (Johnny Simmons). Most of the humor comes from the raunchy acts being pondered by and explained to Brandy. Unfortunately, too often the script goes for the easy laugh via gross-out and mean-spirited wisecracks, and it doesn't work so well. Kudos to Plaza for trying. 

 #37: The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

As we found ourselves returning to middle earth for the fifth time, the Tolkien purists came out in droves to protest all of this adaptation's screw ups and idiosyncrasies. Why is the spider battle only five lousy minutes? Why is there a made-up female elf who makes the dwarves look like punks in terms of her orc skull-cracking? Why is Legolas around so much, and why is he jumping from head to head and skewering villains with perfect headshots, even though his feet aren't set? I've read the Hobbit, sure, but not enough to debate the accuracy or lack thereof. That said, I know people who have, and they thought Desolation was awful. 

 The first Hobbit film, with it's controversial high frame rate that I didn't even notice, had a good flow to it and as an adaptation, seemed to play true. This one, on the other hand, seemed to drag and drag. Plenty has been made about the fact that The Hobbit, which is shorter than any of the Lord of the Rings titles, is substituting potential dollar quantity for quality. And I had to wonder myself: how is Peter Jackson making three movies out of one book? Easy--by adding characters and slowing down the tempo. This installment could have been at least a half an hour shorter and still kept it's flashy fantasy Spectacle mojo. The scene in which he finally arrives at Smaug's lair goes on for roughly 3 hours, while the Dragon bobs and weaves over treasure and tries to distract young Bilbo with riddles and wanton verbosity. Like basically every sequence in the movie, I liked it at first and then kept asking: why isn't this over yet? Martin Freeman is again delightful as Bilbo Baggins, Benedict Cumberbatch eases into the voice of Smaug like a slimy con artist, and the dwarf supporting cast always keep things interesting. On the other end of the spectrum, the Orlando Bloom and Evangeline Lilly (as a character that doesn't actually exist in literary form) eye candy team got far too much screen time. And in the case of Smaug, there was screen time to go around. 

'Til next time, amigos-

Mulhern

2013 Films: #41 & #40

We are one week away from the Oscars. As I type this blog post, the LeBron James of Twin Cities Animal Control specialists is working in our utility room, trying to free the squirrel who has been living in our furnace for the last 8 days.

Excitement is at an all-time high.

#41 The Bling Ring

As a director, Sofia Coppola's schtick has always been to pull captivating moments and performances out of  isolation and ennui. Sometimes, it works;  Lost in Translation is one of my favorite movies of the aughts. Marie Antoinette, which at times felt like one long music video, failed to really hit the mark, and Somewhere finds Stephen Dorff, via sometimes painfully long takes, attempting to connect with his daughter in the once-glamorous-now-desolate landscape of movie stardom. Coppola's latest, The Bling Ring, is probably her weakest effort. Not that it was bad--it was only okay.

The Bling Ring, based entirely on a true to life Vanity Fair article called "The Suspect Wore Louboutins" is about a group of teenage fame obsessives who determine where celebrities live so that they can case their houses to break in and steal shit. Rebecca (Katie Chang) and Marc (Israel Broussard) start small, jacking credit cards and cash from parked cars before they graduate to full on burglaries. Along the way, they rope in Nicki (Emma Watson), Sam (Taissa Farmiga) and Chloe (Claire Julien). Soon it becomes a game of thrills.

The movie is set in 2009, which makes sense because the supposed A-listers that they target are far from relevant: Audrina Partridge, Rachel Bilson, Lindsay Lohan. The holy grail, though, is Paris Hilton (also now lacking relevance). The fact that a group of teenagers manage to crack the security systems of a hotel heiress three different times is simultaneously funny and depressing. Chang does a nice job of pushing her cronies along despite the consequences, and it is fun to see Watson distance herself further and further from Hermione Granger with vapid cursing and getting bombed. The main problem here is that the rise and fall of the bling ring was extremely anti-climactic, and this time when nothing happens, there's not much to fall back on--just rich kids trying on even richer people's clothes.

#40 We're the Millers

Jason Sudekis is a weed dealer named David who finds himself jacked by street toughs and coming to his boss, Brad Gurdlinger (Ed Helms, looking/acting/sounding like Jason Sudekis), with hat in hand, trying to fix his situation. Well, Gurdlinger says, just so happens I have giant shipment of weed I have to get across the Mexican border. Get it for me and you're off the hook. So what does David do? He recruits angry stripper Rose (Jennifer Aniston), awkward wallflower Kenny (Will Poulter) from his apartment building and homeless 'hood rat Casey (Emma Roberts) to be his family on an RV trip down Mexico way by offering to pay them handsomely. The logic here being, of course, that no border patrol is going to pop a wholesome looking family.

As they work toward completing the mission, they become somewhat of a family unit (the promise of money certainly helps) and encounter strangers both menacing (fully-strapped Mexican drug dealers) and creepy (a family of swingers, played by Nick Offerman and Kathryn Hahn). The jokes are effective when they hit, but it's only sometimes. When it attempts to go over the top, Millers often falls flat. Otherwise we have exactly what you expect: Sudekis being smarmy, Aniston using her girl next door sex appeal to get them out of tight situations, the kids trying to find themselves, Ed Helms being smarmy. Rental territory, folks.

Til next time, Amigos-

Mulhern

2013 Films: #44-42

#44 The Internship

I'll get it out of the way right now: we do not have Google Crashers on our hands here, no matter how much we wish it were. The once dynamic Vaughn and Wilson duo have played the schtick about as far as they can take it. Billy (Vaughn) and Nick (Wilson) are watch salesmen who can't quite adapt to the new way of the world and find themselves out of a job. Then they turn on their Vaughn and Wilson charm, talking their way into a renowned internship in silicon valley, where they will compete against a whole bunch of college kids.

There were funny parts, and I've always loved a comedy-driven competition (the quidditch match was particularly solid). But man, I couldn't believe how many stereotypes they managed to pack into 2 hours! The Indian boss with the Indian accent? The Asian computer programming whizzes? The "team of rejects" that Wilson and Vaughn end up on that features an angry loner, a Mindy Kaling-lite party girl, and nerds with social anxieties? The team that has to overcome their differences and work together toward the ultimate goal?

Of course. Seen it a million times. Usually it's less borderline offensive.

#43 Admission

The first post-Oscars movie I saw in 2013 was Admission. Tina Fey stars as Portia Nathan, an unbearably uptight admissions counselor at Princeton University. You've certainly seen this formula before: protagonist finds self loosening up because of someone's freewheeling influence, protagonist has to learn life lessons along the way, etc. The freewheeling influence, in this case, comes in the form of everyone's favorite cute dopey schlub, Paul Rudd, playing her ex-college classmate John Pressman, and acting in the exact same way that Paul Rudd always does. Pressman runs an alternative high school and has a couple of kids--one in particular--that he is pitching to the admissions team. The student, Jeremiah (Nat Wolff), is one of those classic Will Hunting types- lousy grades, lots of smarts. He's unconventional in another way too, but I won't spoil it.

Admission certainly wasn't bad. But like A.C.O.D. a few slots ago, it's a lot of talent that could be better utilized, including Wallace "Never bet against a Sicilian when death is on the line!" Shawn as Fey's boss and Lily Tomlin as Fey's wacky mother. In terms of meet-cute, girl-can't-stand-boy-at-first territory, it does not veer too far off the road. And how many times is Rudd going to play the same character? Worth renting if you're in the mood for something cute and predictable.

#42 What Maisie Knew

When the Henry James novel What Maisie Knew was published in 1897, it was considered revolutionary. The book is written from the perspective of a young girl shuttled between her mother and father and treated more as a chess piece than a human being. Divorce and marital strife was kind of a new thing back then, and coupled with the child narrator aspect, we had the late 19th century controversial equivalent of Kanye charging at TMZ photographers.

Flash forward to the present. Maisie (Onata Aprile) tiptoes in her jammies out of her bedroom to watch her parents Susanna (Julianne Moore) and Beale (Steve Coogan) spar. Susanna is a touring rock star, and Beale is an art dealer. We as the viewer begin at the end and get to see, through Maisie's eyes, the dissolution of the marriage. Both Beale and Susanna are terrible in their own right, and as such, immediately take on younger lovers. Susanna's is hunky male model Lincoln (True Blood's Alexander Skarsgaard) and Beale begins sleeping with Margo the nanny (Joanna Vanderham). Maisie is constantly, even at times literally, being pulled in different directions by the people that are supposed to be her caretakers in order to get the last word. As Beale and Susanna become more and more absentee and non-redeemable, the young ones kind of find themselves taking over as the de facto parents.

This movie is tough to watch. You feel terrible for the little girl. That said, aspects of it are very well made. It's shot in a style that feels like you're seeing it through a child's eyes. By that, I mean that the lenses are set up in a way that lets light flood in which makes it sometimes feel like everything is new and exciting. Also, the performances are good and fairly believable, despite how much you are forced to dislike basically everybody. If the characters weren't so one-dimensional, we would have had a better project on our hands.

Til next time, amigos-

Mulhern

2013 Films: #50-45

Welcome, welcome, welcome to another year of amateurish, completely subjective, slightly witty film criticism with your old pal Mulhern! As my favorite Onion correspondent Jim Anchower used to say in his column The Cruise, "It's been awhile since I've last rapped at ya."

Last year, I had to pack writing about 27 movies into my Oscar day post, which was not ideal. The gameplan is to spread out about 5-6 a day until Oscar Sunday this time around. Every year I say it: "This is the year I write reviews after I see movies, like a movie critic does." Unfortunately, I'm not a film critic--I'm a 4th grade teacher. Sometimes when I want to kick back and write about how I thought Smaug the dragon talked too damn much, or how Jared Leto would have made for a pretty decent looking chick, I instead have to kick back and write about how to get my kids to understand the difference between mixed numbers and improper fractions. I'm certainly not complaining; I love what I do. Thems just the breaks is all.

As it turns out, I was a recipient of an unexpected day off today, the 6th school cancellation of this Winter. This is unheard of for Minneapolis Public Schools. I am more than half of the way done with my 8th school year working for the district, and before this year, we had been canceled once, for a period of two days in December 2010. That snowstorm had collapsed the roof of the Metrodome (go Packers). This Winter has been cold enough to shut us down 6 times. Which is pretty crazy, but is freeing me up a little bit to do things like get my hair cut, take in my dry cleaning, and write inane stuff about movies I saw.

Before we begin, I'd be amiss not to mention the sudden and awful passing of one of the best actors any of us will ever see, ever. Philip Seymour Hoffman had a good 20 years ahead of him and it sucks that heroin and addiction in general has taken another one from us. PSH was far from your standard leading man, both in the roles he took, and the utter lack of the Gosling factor. As a supporting man he stole every scene he was in and gave us rockin' Lester Bangs, sycophantic Brandt, tight clothes Scotty J., patient Phil Parma, and, my favorite, the enigmatic, terrifying Lancaster Dodd from my #1 of last year, The Master. Then you have his leading roles. He carried The Savages and Before the Devil Knows Your Dead on his back. He brought equal parts pain and humor to a man defeated in Love Liza. He confidently guided us through the irrational in the wildly confusing Charlie Kaufman vehicle Synecdoche, New York. And as Truman Capote, he made us all feel for people who, for better or worse, didn't deserve to be alive. He threw himself into every role he took on, regardless of the anguish it caused him, and never, ever settled for mediocre, even if the movie itself was. May he rest in peace.

And speaking of mediocre movies...
(see what I did there?)

#50 Identity Thief

It's not as if I had high expectations for this one, but with Jason Bateman steadily making his way into permanent leading-man territory and the always entertaining Melissa McCarthy, I thought it would be worth a shot. Sometimes when I go to the Redbox, I want to pick out something that doesn't cause me to think very hard. This one, I'm happy to say, required very few firing of synapses.

It's no shock growing up as a child of experimental theater that I am not a prude when it comes to colorful language. That said, there is a difference between cursing that works and curses that are thrown in just because. Identity Thief could very well be the poster child for gratuitous swearing. The story, especially considering what recnetly happened with Minnesota's benevolent overlords the Target Corporation, is very timely: Bateman is Sandy Patterson, a corporate schmo with a wife and kids who finds himself getting charged for a string of treat yo'self charges at spas and boutiques in Florida. He decides to leave home and track down the perpetrator, con-artist Diana (McCarthy). There is plenty of cat-and-mouse, crude insults and physical gaggery along the way as Bateman is unwillingly dragged along while Diana is pursued by bounty hunters.

There were little funny one-liners here and there, but mostly it was just kind of mean-spirited. The trick would have worked if I were rooting for the McCarthy character to, you know, realize the error of her ways and redeem herself, but I couldn't sympathize.

#49 A.C.O.D.  

A.C.O.D. stands for "Adult Children of Divorce". Carter, played by Adam Scott, is a guy living out his normal life with his normal job until his brother Trey (the always affable Clark Gregg) decides to get married. This is a problem because it means his divorced parents (Richard Jenkins & Katherine O'Hara) have to start being in the same room again. They had a rough and nasty divorce that has scarred Carter for life, with plenty of mudslinging and cheating and other ridiculous behaviors. To make matters stranger, a psychologist named Dr. Judith (Jane Lynch) asks him to be part of her research book on the effects of divorce on adults.

First of all, Adam Scott can't carry a movie. Yet, anyway. He's great as a side player (see: Parks and Recreation, Step Brothers). I like Adam Scott, but I can only take so much Adam Scott, and in this one he is, for lack of proper terminology, kind of a whiny bitch. Jessica Alba's bit part doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and most of the obvious talent is wasted on a script that is only okay. It's slow and about as formulaic as it gets.

#48 The New Public

Way back in Spring of 2012, I volunteered for the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Film Festival (MNSPIFF) in large part because my friend Eric was running it and told me to get involved. I had just gotten back from a couple of months in Africa and the only real thing I had going was substitute teaching. My job was to take tickets and help with the people in line for the movies. For every 3.5 hours I clocked as a volunteer, I got a free movie pass. So I got to see something like 7 or 8 movies. Which was rad. However, in Spring of 2013, I had a full time job and no time to volunteer, but I still wanted to support. I only saw 2 movies at that festival, and one of them was The New Public.

This documentary follows the creation of a public charter school in Brooklyn that, due to poor financial planning and recruitment, faces a tough situation. The high school in question focused on both core curriculum and arts integration. These should be things that I care about, right? Well, right and wrong. The movie was heavy-handed, to say the least, and it painted a picture of educational reform that was bleak and somewhat unrealistic. The filmmaker, much like Waiting for Superman, seemed to posit that the only way to fix things was to create more charters like this one. I enjoyed some of the teacher and student interviews because it was obvious, especially in the case of the teachers, that they were incredibly passionate about what they were trying to do. I'm a public school teacher, and I don't plan on boring you with my opinions on public vs. charter/private schools, but I will say this: If you are going to argue for more charter creation, at least make it compelling to the viewer.

#47: The Big Wedding

An all-star cast (Robert DeNiro, Diane Keaton, Susan Sarandon, Amanda Seyfried, Topher Grace, Katherine Heigl, and annoying, annoying Robin Williams) come together to help Seyfried and her Spanish-speaking fiancee' Alejandro (Ben Barnes) come together to get married. Don (DeNiro) and Ellie (Keaton) used to be married; he is now with free-spirit Bebe (Sarandon). Only trouble is, Alejandro's parents are strict Catholics, and don't believe in any kind of divorce. So what do you suppose Don and Ellie are forced to do? Do you think that, just maybe, as they get to pretending, they might get to reminiscing and realize there are still some unanswered questions and some unabated feelings? Do you think that lessons are learned along the way? Do you think that Robin Williams, as marriage counselor/priest Father Monighan gets in some ribald one-liners?

Right on all accounts. Like A.C.O.D., older lovers rediscover themselves in a movie that seems geared toward the Viagra set. A few funny moments. A few cute things. Mostly kinda ugh.

#46 The Heat

Melissa McCarthy, stop doing lousy movies!

Here we have Ashburn (Sandra Bullock) and Mullins (McCarthy) paired up as cops. Ashburn is straight-laced and by the books. Mullins is the opposite. She flies, foul-mouthed and jean-jacketed into interrogation scenes while Ashburn desperately tries to talk her down. They infiltrate a drug ring and go after bad guys. Ashburn learns to loosen up a little bit, while Mullins tries to act more positively toward others.

The end.

#45: Thor: The Dark World

Like many of the films coming out of the Marvel Comics camp, this one was too long, and unlike the films coming out of the Marvel Comics camp, it wasn't all that exciting. What made the first Thor movie interesting was the way that Chris Hemsworth portrayed him: A barbaric, crass, confused fish out of water who found life on earth to be a playground of sorts. This resulted in lots of funny moments and interactions.

In The Dark World, we pick up a couple years after Thor rode his multi-dimensional hammer back to Asgard. On earth, Jane (Natalie Portman) is moping around and missing her muscular Norseman. He can't get back to earth because dad (Anthony Hopkins) tells him his job is to defend the 9 realms. When she ends up in trouble, he returns to earth to save her and bring her back to Asgard. Turns out as she was snooping around, she crossed path with some dark matter type stuff that the dark elves (angry creatures that are fighting Thor's people) want to get their hands on.

Convoluted, right? Meanwhile, Thor's nasty brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston), last seen falling off the bifrost bridge in the direction of the abyss of no return, is living in jail on Asgard. Thor needs to enlist his help to fight off the elves. Should he let him out, or will he get up to his old tricks? Who knows? Who cares? There was far too much Asgard, far too much pointless exposition, far too much seriousness in this disappointing sequel.

'Til next time, amigos-

Mulhern